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Controlling People

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Highlights

The person who has defined your experience seems to have failed to grasp that you are a person with your own reality. — location: 159 ^ref-11329


People who act against others truly act in a backwards way, doing the opposite of what they would need to do to realize their goal. — location: 313 ^ref-10198


A saleswoman told me that her boss repeatedly said, 'You aren't trying.” But she was trying to do a good job and, in fact, she was doing it very well. She didn't realize that her boss was defining her intentions before he asked her what they were, and that he was actually trying to get her to conform to his pretend person — location: 1388 ^ref-25553


It is as if the Controller is saying, “Since I've made you up, I know what goes on within you and since you don't act the way you 'should,' I'll tell you what is wrong with you so you'll know how you're supposed to be, — location: 1966 ^ref-59651


To some, breaking the spell is like breaking a taboo. — location: 2898 ^ref-47874


Controllers want desperately to break the spell's hold over them, especially when they see that some of the ways they have been trained to behave and some of the ways they have learned to cope have backwards results that both harm others and get themselves the opposite of what they want. — location: 3022 ^ref-24374


Can they see what they are doing and address their fears in such a way that they are not compelled to act against others? How can they gain the knowledge lost and the experience forsaken that would have allowed them to know themselves? — location: 3028 ^ref-56639