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Insight

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“more than most, Washington’s biography is the story of a man constructing himself.” — location: 218 ^ref-32620

“The goals aren’t important,” his investor said. “What’s important is the process of getting there.” — location: 515 ^ref-14869

him. And whether you’re thinking about your home life, your work, or the people with whom you choose to surround yourself, energy is probably the ultimate measure of fit. At the end of the day, is your environment creating energy or taking it away? — location: 563 ^ref-14800

The point is to first detect the pattern, then be able to identify it when it’s happening, and then experiment by making different—and better—choices. — location: 604 ^ref-65080

when we couple a clear perspective on ourselves with the ability to abandon that perspective and see ourselves as others do, this magical combination is a tremendous force for good. — location: 765 ^ref-39509

the emotionally laden nature of these situations tempts us to distance ourselves from them: we may get defensive, blame others, become more cynical, overcompensate, shut down, or give up. — location: 807 ^ref-31827

awareness to strike—they built windmills, turning new information into energy to effect real and lasting change. — location: 826 ^ref-57857

Eighty-two percent of parents also think that they’re capable of handling their finances despite holding too much debt and neglecting to build long-term savings, — location: 934 ^ref-3763

get into the habit of comparing our past predictions with actual outcomes. — location: 1180 ^ref-34520

pre-mortem by asking the following question: “Imagine that we are a year into the future—we have implemented the plan as it now exists. The outcome was a disaster. Write a brief history of that disaster.” This process tends to reveal potential pitfalls in a way we’d rarely consider otherwise. — location: 1185 ^ref-49898

“The most fundamental…harm we can do to ourselves is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently.” — location: 1222 ^ref-24577

one study, which found that when college freshmen were overconfident about their academic abilities, they also had poorer well-being and lower engagement in their schoolwork throughout their college experience than students who were more realistic. — location: 1381 ^ref-50297

Many even doubled their efforts, wrongly thinking that hard work could improve the viability of their unviable business. In literally every case, it didn’t. — location: 1405 ^ref-48604

willful blindness to our shortcomings can set us up for failure. — location: 1409 ^ref-42522

Sometimes life can hand us challenges so difficult that we need rose-colored glasses to help us get through them. — location: 1430 ^ref-37312

“I sometimes try to understand my friends better by imagining how things look from their perspective.” — location: 1502 ^ref-45532

becoming an informer, cultivating humility, and practicing self-acceptance. — location: 1551 ^ref-63307

objectively more successful, in part because their focus on other people makes them more liked and respected. Because they work hard and don’t take things for granted. Because they admit when they don’t have the answers. Because they are willing to learn from others versus stubbornly clinging to their views. — location: 1609 ^ref-50155

each participant wrote a letter to their future self about the lessons they learned and the changes they wanted to make. — location: 1636 ^ref-22643

asking why caused the participants to fixate on their problems and place blame instead of moving forward in a healthy and productive way. — location: 1872 ^ref-30697

asking “what” keeps us open to discovering new information about ourselves, even if that information is negative or in conflict with our existing beliefs. — location: 1883 ^ref-16174

Paul turned what could have been a shattering earthquake event into a chance to show what he was made of. — location: 1928 ^ref-38209

Whatever you do to center yourself, make sure you spend that time actively noticing new things rather than just mentally checking out. — location: 2393 ^ref-12375

he would simply imagine floating feet-first, and getting out of the rough waters as quickly as possible. — location: 4479 ^ref-60310

Was this actually an opportunity to learn a few lessons about dealing with difficult people and therefore improve himself? — location: 4496 ^ref-13605

by managing our own reactions, we often have more control than we think. — location: 4573 ^ref-38264

What they needed were clear boundaries they could both agree on. — location: 4626 ^ref-21405

the more stress we are under, the more unrealistic we tend to be about our abilities, characteristics, and behaviors. — location: 4668 ^ref-53512