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Overcoming Intimacy Anxiety

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She was a deeply intuitive woman who knew exactly what to say to me to make her words have the greatest impact possible. — location: 37 ^ref-45620

surface-level intimate relationships where I had all of the control. I dated women whom I knew would be in awe of me so that there was never a chance of being left. I constructed a social mask that I could hide behind with my friends, family, and relationship partners. — location: 42 ^ref-14174

started to have panic attacks. I started to get depressed. — location: 46 ^ref-7495

I didn’t enjoy being around my closest friends or family members for fear of letting them really see me. — location: 48 ^ref-17362

enough was enough. It was time for me to start feeling the emotions that I had shoved down six years prior. — location: 50 ^ref-36624

It’s nearly impossible to have a loving relationship with another person unless we first have a loving relationship with ourselves. — location: 76 ^ref-9603

more likely to engage in addictive behaviours (attempting to fill the void in their sense of self), — location: 83 ^ref-3118

“If I let you close to me, you’ll figure out my secrets, judge me and hate me for them, and my sense of self-worth will be even further compromised.” — location: 90 ^ref-53850

don’t let your disorder be the thing that defines you — location: 96 ^ref-2659

living your life according to your values and ideals. — location: 110 ^ref-15306

Congruence is the alignment of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. — location: 130 ^ref-52815

Self-esteem is the byproduct of having done or accomplished things in your life that you are massively proud of. — location: 133 ^ref-56228

you to choose to engage in something that isn’t aligned with what you actually want (for example, choosing to be a doctor because it would make your parents proud — location: 135 ^ref-3964

We can only build our self-esteem by acting congruently with what we truly want…not what society or our families tells us we want, but what we actually want. — location: 137 ^ref-1530

Your gut-level emotional guidance system is always there to encourage you in the right direction as long as you are ready and willing to listen to it. — location: 138 ^ref-30344

Whenever you feel your emotional response being triggered, patiently sit with the feeling and try to dive into it as much as you can. Ask emotion questions like, “Why am I feeling this feeling?” or “What am I actually afraid of right now?” — location: 146 ^ref-17143

extending compassion towards one’s self in times of perceived inadequacy, suffering, or failure. — location: 191 ^ref-58822

Even though I feel this feeling, I deeply and unwaveringly love and accept myself. — location: 206 ^ref-31007

Thank you for your opinion, ego, but I’m going to go my own way. — location: 206 ^ref-8562

I know who I am, and I’m enough. — location: 209 ^ref-26237

I am a vehicle of positive energy. — location: 209 ^ref-19780

I feel secure in who I am, and I do not need to compare myself to others. — location: 211 ^ref-44425

Go slow. — location: 212 ^ref-26347

You’ve got this. — location: 213 ^ref-55466

When you feel hesitant or scared to tell your partner about something that you need, — location: 221 ^ref-21851

when the energy gets stuck inside of us that we start to suffer with sadness, grief, anxiety, depression, and feelings of low self-worth. — location: 229 ^ref-10294

She was brilliant, challenging, wise, driven, and soulful. — location: 242 ^ref-12568

My ego wanted me to play small and stay safe. — location: 245 ^ref-47385