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all change efforts boil down to the same mission: Can you get people to start behaving in a new way? — location: 58 ^ref-62779


To pursue bright spots is to ask the question “What’s working, and how can we do more of it?” Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Yet, in the real world, this obvious question is almost never asked. Instead, the question we ask is more problem focused: “What’s broken, and how do we fix it?” — location: 594 ^ref-45697


When people learn bad stuff about someone else, it’s stickier than good stuff. People pay closer attention to the bad stuff, reflect on it more, remember it longer, and weigh it more heavily in assessing the person overall. — location: 615 ^ref-46936


(Buckingham has a fine series of books on making the most of your strengths rather than obsessing about your weaknesses.) — location: 632 ^ref-53984


Ambiguity is the enemy. Any successful change requires a translation of ambiguous goals into concrete behaviors. In short, to make a switch, you need to script the critical moves. — location: 712 ^ref-2369


practice the same set of behaviors (called “child-directed interaction”) every day, whether in the lab or at home, so that the behaviors gradually become instinctive. The more instinctive a behavior becomes, the less self-control from the Rider it requires, and thus the more sustainable it becomes. — location: 876 ^ref-14868


You have a choice about how to use the Rider’s energy: By default, he’ll obsess about which way to move, or whether it’s necessary to move at all. But you can redirect that energy to helping you navigate toward the destination. — location: 1089 ^ref-41707


Destination postcards do double duty: They show the Rider where you’re headed, and they show the Elephant why the journey is worthwhile. — location: 1106 ^ref-32118


We’re all loophole-exploiting lawyers when it comes to our own self-control. — location: 1168 ^ref-18007


“I can give you a hundred examples where people made a mistake because they didn’t use knowledge they already had, for every one example where we learn something that is valuable for next time.” — location: 1243 ^ref-17169


What is essential, though, is to marry your long-term goal with short-term critical moves. — location: 1268 ^ref-40549


You have to back up your destination postcard with a good behavioral script. That’s a recipe for success. — location: 1270 ^ref-65151


analytical tools work best when “parameters are known, assumptions are minimal, and the future is not fuzzy.” — location: 1417 ^ref-12327


in almost all successful change efforts, the sequence of change is not ANALYZE-THINK-CHANGE, but rather SEE-FEEL-CHANGE. — location: 1421 ^ref-55311


Trying to fight inertia and indifference with analytical arguments is like tossing a fire extinguisher to someone who’s drowning. The solution doesn’t match the problem. — location: 1433 ^ref-14870


self-evaluation involves interpretation, and that’s where the Elephant intrudes. — location: 1540 ^ref-61028


How can we dispel people’s positive illusions without raining down negativity on them? — location: 1550 ^ref-54921


One reason we’re able to believe that we’re better-than-average leaders and drivers and spouses and team players is that we’re defining those terms in ways that flatter us. — location: 1590 ^ref-58502


Bottom line: If you need quick and specific action, then negative emotions might help. But most of the time when change is needed, it’s not a stone-in-the-shoe situation. — location: 1641 ^ref-39768


People find it more motivating to be partly finished with a longer journey than to be at the starting gate of a shorter one. — location: 1712 ^ref-8298


Rather than focusing solely on what’s new and different about the change to come, make an effort to remind people what’s already been conquered. — location: 1744 ^ref-2643


Starting an unpleasant task is always worse than continuing it. — location: 1771 ^ref-63473


I have learned that the math does need to work, but sometimes motivation is more important than math. — location: 1799 ^ref-17981


when “milestones” seemed too distant, they should look for “inch pebbles.” — location: 1847 ^ref-16171


You can’t count on these milestones to occur naturally. To motivate change, you’ve got to plan for them. — location: 1855 ^ref-1726


“When you improve a little each day, eventually big things occur…. Don’t look for the quick, big improvement. Seek the small improvement one day at a time. That’s the only way it happens—and when it happens, it lasts.” — location: 1959 ^ref-22566


victories that lead up to it. You want to select small wins that have two traits: (1) They’re meaningful. (2) They’re “within immediate reach,” as Bill Parcells said. And if you can’t achieve both traits, choose the latter! — location: 1971 ^ref-50412


we’ve expended so much time and energy trying to predict future events, soothe future hurts, and prevent future consequences that we have missed out on today’s opportunities. — location: 1991 ^ref-63231


In the identity model of decision making, we essentially ask ourselves three questions when we have a decision to make: Who am I? What kind of situation is this? What would someone like me do in this situation? — location: 2069 ^ref-14600


How can you make your change a matter of identity rather than a matter of consequences? — location: 2086 ^ref-58908


If their answer is no, then you’ll have to work hard to show them that they should aspire to a different self-image. — location: 2109 ^ref-13254


None of Brasilata’s employees were born “inventors.” The identity was introduced to them, and they liked the sound of it. It seemed to be a mantle worth wearing. Being an inventor has become a source of pride and strength. — location: 2139 ^ref-63471


Freedman and Fraser called this strategy a “foot in the door” technique. Accepting the tiny driver-safety sign greatly increased the likelihood that the home owners would accept the gigantic driver-safety sign. — location: 2155 ^ref-44194


Who am I? What kind of situation is this? What would someone like me do in this situation? — location: 2168 ^ref-15027


You need to create the expectation of failure—not the failure of the mission itself, but failure en route. — location: 2202 ^ref-49624


If you want to reach your full potential, you need a growth mindset. — location: 2229 ^ref-30457


“Everything can look like a failure in the middle.” — location: 2282 ^ref-42465


people will persevere only if they perceive falling down as learning rather than as failing. — location: 2304 ^ref-56660


teams who failed made the mistake of trying to “get it right on the first try” and were motivated by the chance to “perform, to shine, or to execute perfectly.” — location: 2344 ^ref-40374


“There was this belief that some children can and some children can’t. — location: 2362 ^ref-15323


we need to remind ourselves and others, again and again, of certain basic truths: Our brains and our abilities are like muscles. They can be strengthened with practice. — location: 2381 ^ref-15713


amazing things can happen when you combine the aspiration of a new identity with the persistence of the growth mindset. — location: 2384 ^ref-61044


motivation also comes from confidence. The Elephant has to believe that it’s capable of conquering the change. And there are two routes to building people’s confidence so that they feel “big” relative to their challenge. You can shrink the change or grow your people (or, preferably, both). — location: 2387 ^ref-27557


If you’re hungry and need a can of food, you’re three times better-off relying on a jerk with a map than on a budding young saint without one.) — location: 2448 ^ref-6038


In our experience, people who are trying to change things often reach instinctively for carrots and sticks. But this strategy indicates a pretty crude view of human behavior—that people act only in response to bribes and punishments. And it quickly becomes absurd. — location: 2470 ^ref-17457


At that point, the executives felt they’d tried every tool in their toolbox, so they jumped to punishments. — location: 2485 ^ref-36742


You know you’ve got a smart solution when everyone hates it and it still works—and in fact works so well that people’s hate turns to enthusiasm. — location: 2563 ^ref-27573


Simply by rearranging the furniture in her office, Tucker made herself into a different “kind of person.” That’s the power of shaping the Path. — location: 2617 ^ref-15226


Tucker shaped her environment to disallow her own bad behavior. — location: 2621 ^ref-19368


Simple tweaks of the Path can lead to dramatic changes in behavior. — location: 2732 ^ref-32370


action triggers are quite effective in motivating action. — location: 2815 ^ref-44208


A good change leader never thinks, “Why are these people acting so badly? They must be bad people.” A change leader thinks, “How can I set up a situation that brings out the good in these people?” — location: 2979 ^ref-13293


In any addiction situation, the Elephant is the culprit. — location: 3257 ^ref-19662


To develop better relationships, you don’t need to know whether your colleague is a Navigator or a Pleaser or a Passive-Aggressive Chieftain. You just need to notice and reinforce your colleague’s positive behaviors— — location: 3409 ^ref-503


Change isn’t an event; it’s a process. There is no moment when a monkey learns to skateboard; there’s a process. There is no moment when a child learns to walk; there’s a process. And there won’t be a moment when your community starts to invest more in its school system, or starts recycling more, or starts to beautify its public spaces; there will be a process. To lead a process requires persistence. — location: 3435 ^ref-1664


When change works, it tends to follow a pattern. The people who change have clear direction, ample motivation, and a supportive environment. — location: 3461 ^ref-56506


if we really did understand why an extreme change like having kids works while minor changes routinely fail—if we really did understand that change rarely happens unless it’s motivated by feeling, or that the environment can act as a powerful brake or accelerant on our behavior—then, let’s face it, the Food Pyramid would not exist, managers would never kick off change initiatives with PowerPoint presentations, and global warming activists would never talk about the number of carbon parts per million in the atmosphere. If it’s common sense, it hasn’t quite made the leap to action. When change happens, it tends to follow a pattern. We’ve got to stop ignoring that pattern and start embracing it. — location: 3479 ^ref-42381


Change follows a pattern. What’s not part of the pattern is the type of person who’s doing the changing. — location: 3495 ^ref-1638


They directed the Rider, they motivated the Elephant, and they shaped the Path. — location: 3500 ^ref-13024


The old pattern is powerful, so make sure to script the critical moves, because ambiguity is the enemy. — location: 3550 ^ref-60388