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The Code of the Extraordinary Mind

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The people making you feel guilty for going your own way and choosing your own life are simply saying, “Look at me. I’m better than you because my chains are bigger.” It takes courage to break those chains and define your own life. — location: 1145 ^ref-50931

Ellen Langer, PhD, and Alia J. Crum, PhD, set up a study, reported in 2007 in Psychological Science, — location: 1295 ^ref-35670

Thus the single most effective model of reality you can adopt right now is the idea that your models of reality are swappable. — location: 1329 ^ref-42378

bad beliefs create bad habits. — location: 1351 ^ref-22991

But the real problem wasn’t that someone was shooting down my idea, not listening to me, or misunderstanding me. It all boiled down to a deeply buried belief that I, by myself, was not enough. — location: 1602 ^ref-29244

Our beliefs about our bodies seem to have an uncanny impact on how we experience our bodies—for good or bad. — location: 1749 ^ref-58417

Bottom line: Your beliefs can influence both you and the people around you. What you expect, you get. — location: 1761 ^ref-62455

“No matter what you do, in any situation with your child, ask yourself, What beliefs is my child going to take away from this encounter? Will your child walk away thinking: I just made a mistake and I learned something great or I’m insignificant?” — location: 1784 ^ref-14906

at the end of any situation like that, ask your child, “Billy, what happened? What was the consequence? What can you learn from this?” — location: 1796 ^ref-3250

ask what questions: “Billy, what happened that made you drop that spoon?” This allows him to look within and think. He might answer, “I dropped it because I thought you weren’t listening to me.” What questions allow you to get to the root of the problem and work to heal it faster. — location: 1800 ^ref-58291

First, I ask him to think of one thing he was grateful for that day. It could be the soft sheets he’s sleeping on, a friend he played with, a conversation we had, or a book he read. I show him that he can be grateful for anything. Second, I ask, “Hayden, what did you love about yourself today?” — location: 1814 ^ref-50218