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The Highly Sensitive Person

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HSPs with a troubled childhood are more at risk of becoming depressed, anxious, and shy than non-sensitive people with a similar childhood; — location: 116 ^ref-10093

the idea of “vantage sensitivity” which they created in order to highlight the specific potential for sensitive people to benefit from positive circumstances and interventions. — location: 257 ^ref-5921

But recent scientific thinking, reviewed by psychologist Roy Baumeister and his colleagues, has placed emotion at the center of wisdom. — location: 272 ^ref-51076

We make it especially hard for others to observe our trait because we are so responsive to our environments that we can be something like chameleons when around others, doing whatever it takes to fit in. — location: 321 ^ref-64291

When we are visible, the most obvious thing we do is “over” react compared to others—the — location: 325 ^ref-38231

those HSPs with a troubled past have less control over their reactions, and hence the trait becomes associated with people having difficulties. — location: 328 ^ref-38036

For example, if we are seen taking our time before entering a situation or making a decision, that can seem, again, to be different, a potential problem, and therefore a flaw. — location: 330 ^ref-7841

It is easy to overlook how good those decisions can be when finally made. — location: 331 ^ref-57779

In our culture, however, possessing this trait is not considered ideal and that fact probably has had a major impact on you. Well-meaning parents and teachers probably tried to help you “overcome” it, as if it were a defect. — location: 346 ^ref-34279

As an adult, it has probably been harder to find the right career and relationships and generally to feel self-worth and self-confidence. — location: 348 ^ref-62738

naturally, it’s that segment of the population that’s always turning up the radio or honking their horns. — location: 364 ^ref-17841

I recall her grin. “As are most of the people who strike me as really worth knowing.” — location: 423 ^ref-1775

I seem to be aware of subtleties in my environment. — location: 464 ^ref-41144

Other people’s moods affect me. — location: 465 ^ref-23085

I find myself needing to withdraw during busy days, into bed or into a darkened room or any place where I can have some privacy and relief from stimulation. — location: 467 ^ref-57085

I have a rich, complex inner life. — location: 472 ^ref-15597

I am made uncomfortable by loud noises. — location: 473 ^ref-19803

I am deeply moved by the arts or music. — location: 475 ^ref-26088

I am conscientious. — location: 476 ^ref-17458

I get rattled when I have a lot to do in a short amount of time. — location: 478 ^ref-46690

When people are uncomfortable in a physical environment I tend to know what needs to be done to make it more comfortable (like changing the lighting or the seating). — location: 480 ^ref-63573

I am annoyed when people try to get me to do too many things at once. — location: 482 ^ref-10138

I become unpleasantly aroused when a lot is going on around me. — location: 486 ^ref-25110

Being very hungry creates a strong reaction in me, disrupting my concentration or mood. — location: 487 ^ref-1435

Changes in my life shake me up. — location: 489 ^ref-17393

When I must compete or be observed while performing a task, I become so nervous or shaky that I do much worse than I would otherwise. — location: 493 ^ref-3215

Mostly you notice that you seem unable to tolerate as much as other people. — location: 531 ^ref-29662

Fearing these labels, we try to be like others. But that leads to our becoming overaroused and distressed. Then that gets us labeled neurotic or crazy, first by others and then by ourselves. — location: 534 ^ref-48832

If you see this reaction as part of some basic flaw, you intensify the stress already present in any life crisis. Next come feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness. — location: 538 ^ref-18974

An individual will perform best on any kind of task, whether engaging in a conversation or playing in the Super Bowl, if his or her nervous system is moderately alert and aroused. — location: 551 ^ref-20711

too much arousal of the nervous system and anyone will become distressed, clumsy, and confused. We cannot think; the body is not coordinated; we feel out of control. Again, we have many ways to correct the situation. Sometimes we rest. Or mentally shut down. — location: 554 ^ref-56975

What is moderately arousing for most people is highly arousing for HSPs. What is highly arousing for most people causes an HSP to become very frazzled indeed, until they reach a shutdown point called “transmarginal inhibition.” — location: 575 ^ref-28230

Transmarginal inhibition was first discussed around the turn of the century by the Russian physiologist Ivan Pavlov, who was convinced that the most basic inherited difference among people was how soon they reach this shutdown point and that the quick-to-shut-down have a fundamentally different type of nervous system. — location: 577 ^ref-25172

Often we can get used to stimulation. But sometimes we think we have and aren’t being bothered, but suddenly feel exhausted and realize why: We have been putting up with something at a conscious level while it was actually wearing us down. — location: 590 ^ref-28573

One general rule is that when we have no control over stimulation, it is more upsetting, even more so if we feel we are someone’s victim. — location: 600 ^ref-9632

Once we do notice arousal, we want to name it and know its source in order to recognize danger. And often we think that our arousal is due to fear. We do not realize that our heart may be pounding from the sheer effort of processing extra stimulation. Or other people assume we are afraid, given our obvious arousal, so we assume it, too. Then, deciding we must be afraid, we become even more aroused. And we avoid the situation in the future when staying in it and getting used to it might have calmed us down. — location: 615 ^ref-22229

Able to concentrate deeply. (But we do best without distractions.) — location: 623 ^ref-15944

Deeply affected by other people’s moods and emotions. — location: 627 ^ref-46475

or evaluated, — location: 629 ^ref-10476

we often cannot display our competence. — location: 629 ^ref-52678

Our deeper processing may make it seem that at first we are not catching on, — location: 630 ^ref-11692

More affected by stimulants — location: 636 ^ref-28030

unless we are very used to them. — location: 637 ^ref-57519

Overall, again, our nervous systems seem designed to react to subtle experiences, which also makes us slower to recover when we must react to intense stimuli. — location: 639 ^ref-33251

time. We are not “chronically aroused” in day-to-day life or when asleep. We are just more aroused by new or prolonged stimulation. — location: 640 ^ref-37439

HSPs must spend far more time trying to invent solutions to human problems just because they are more sensitive to — location: 653 ^ref-58155

hunger, cold, insecurity, exhaustion, and illness. — location: 654 ^ref-1407

HSPs prefer the good feeling of being very conscious, very human, even if what we are conscious of is not always cause for rejoicing. — location: 660 ^ref-47537